pretty much every day has been looking like this lately. me and my macbook buddy, who allows me such wonderful access to the world. and who crashes iphoto every time i try to edit anything (gah!)
i'm lost in the computer most of the time. yet every day when i consult with my heart and my soul for guidance, it tells me it wants me to create.
i try not to be judgemental at this. i try not to become cynical about art and the world, but it's happening again. i find myself frequently doubting that a creative path was ever really meant for me at all.
so many things i thought were meant for me have slipped through my fingers as easily as a stick of butter. i'm scared to believe in it one more time, lest everything come crashing down again.
but well. i've got some free time now... nothing more for me to do than buck up and obey my heart's desire. there are worse things in the world than actually having the time to pursue your dreams. and it's better than sitting around, worrying and brooding.
i've never felt so lost, and i've never felt so sure of myself. does this make sense?