September 20, 2011

on being alone

chan alone

truth be told, i like alone time.

i'm very much a "need space" person, and feel it's necessary for me to even be a functioning human being. i get stifl-ey if i'm around too many people and too much energy (which is easy in the city.)

the other day, i needed to go to ikea to pick up a few things, but had procrastinated until late in the day. finally got my ass in gear at 6pm, and left the house in search of curtain panels and rail tracks.

now in brooklyn, an ikea trip is no simple thing. it is a process...

so i hopped the appropriate train...
but unfortunately, the train was skipping the stop in which i needed to catch the shuttle bus...
so i got off at the next stop...
walked around aimlessly until i stumbled upon the shuttle bus...
and took the bus to an almost empty store.

it's a moment i can't really describe accurately, because i'm not sure that it's even real... that spooky-alone feeling you get when you're walking down a chilly road at dusk. when you're browsing a ginormous, mostly empty furniture store all by yourself. everyone else has gone home.

it felt special. no one bothers you, no one can asks you where you're going, no one is watching you. responsibilities are nil, and possibilities are infinite.

does anyone else feel like this? maybe it's just because the city itself is full to bursting with people. even my own household always seems to be crowded with so many energies... i can't ever really seem to find the peace and solitude that i crave. i did this time. at a furniture retail chain, of all places.

sigh well, it might not be as cute and kitchy as say this video, but it was a poignant life moment. even if it sounds abstract and overly philosophical...

how's about you?
are you a "need space" person, or "people" person??

meh... abstract tangents.... regularly scheduled posting (outfit time!!) returning tomorrow.

ps, don't forget to enter my giveaway!


  1. Oh, I totally understand what how you feel! God, I'm so not a people person! I love being alone at home and alone wherever; that's why I've never gone on vacation with friends. I like deciding what to do and not to do on the spot without having to consider other people's preferences. I'm absolutely selfish when it comes to my time and space ... That kind of sucks, though, I should try to be more sociable and share more, but I just don't want to, haha.

    I'm lucky David's the same way. I can't even imagine living with a person who's always willing to know what I'm up to or following me everywhere, hehe.

    Oh, and as for going to stores, I hate malls because of the amount of people that's usually there. For grocery shopping, we go to Walmart at midnight or later to avoid the hordes of people ;).

    Tight hugs! ;D


  2. I think it's also called 'introverted' I think you'll find a lot of people on the internet who feel the same way. I live in a much smaller city than you so I get that 'all alone feeling' on a pretty regular basis. But yes, I definitely need my alone time. We went on vacation with another couple this summer and every day I had to find myself about an hour to just sit by myself and not talk to them. LOVE them, we had a great time, but I need time to decompress, to many people just make me so... tense.

  3. I'm with you girl, 100%, I "recharge" by being by myself (well by myself surrounded by felines) whereas some people recharge by being around people. I would much rather be at home than out in crowds. Granted...I have a bit of social anxiety...that obviously has a lot to do with it! I think people that like to be alone are just okay with themselves and spending time on their own.

    It sounds like you had a pretty magical time at Ikea, I'm glad it was a nice getaway for you : )

  4. i am completely an "in my headspace" kind of girl. if i go too long without time alone i feel too full of other's energies and emotions and i need to clear it out. sometimes it's as simple as taking an afternoon nap or reading a book alone in a park of coffee shop. no one asking questions or demanding my attention... just comfortable in my own headspace.


  5. I definitely understand. I need lots of space. I need at least a couple of days each week where I have a few hours of alone time. Quiet. No communication time. And sometimes it's difficult as I live with my partner and his nine year old son in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment! But, luckily they both understand and don't think I'm a total snob when I request it quite often.
    I'm an only child so I feel like that has just stuck with me forever! And now that I'm approaching 30 I've finally figured it out and embraced it - oh yeah, that's why I am the way that I am! I am the wonderful epitome of this "only child" personality type!
    And, Ikea is usually such a headache for me, I only end up there maybe once/year - and it would be so super rad if the next time I end up there it is chillingly quiet. Oh, that sounds nice...

  6. I completely understand how you feel.
    I've always thought I was a people person, but lately, I just need to spend time alone with a candle and a record.

  7. Ikea.... was empty? I'm pretty sure that must feel like something from a bad indie zombie movie. The Ikea down here is always jam packed full of people and has mile long check out lines!

    I feel you on the alone time though, while wandering around a lonely Ikea would be weird at first, I'm sure it could quickly become a rather serene experience!

    A Sweet Release

  8. I do think the city has a lot to do with it. Back in Ohio, I took alone time for granted. Now, if I'm walking down my Downtown Brooklyn street and no one's around, I want to dance around and sing out loud. I'm sure they're watching me from their windows, though. The empty subway is just plain freaky, though; I've seen too many 70s movies where being alone on the train means getting stabbed!

  9. miki- i'm the same. but for me it's more like... i do like being around people. but once i've hit my limit that's it. i can't even fake that i want to be there. or, being around certain personality types sometimes drains me quicker than others. i'm glad you and david share a common bond that way :) it's really important.

    loren- i guess i'm introverted... but i definitely have inclinations towards both personality types, depending on the situation/ people/ etc. some folks can be totally energizing, and others are spirit vampires unfortunately : / i totally hear you about your vacay, i'd need to decompress too!

    jenna- i have some social anxiety too :( especially when i'm around people that are like... a previously established group of friends. it just feels awkward trying to force my way into their little circle. "magical" is the precise word i was looking for- you nailed it!

    chrissy- exactly :)

    amber rose- candles and music are great tools of healing.

    annika- lol, it was like a bad zombie movie! it should've been creepy... which is why it was so weird that it was comforting instead, and why i thought it a unique experience. i'm a freak, i guess :P

    plumpdumpling- you're right. it's one of the things that i feel is so limiting about living here. sometimes i just need a space where i don't have to worry about what anyone is doing, thinking, or saying around me. it's pretty much impossible. where in brooklyn do you live?

    and, i just wanted to say that i'm overwhelmed at how many people relate to this. i was sure i was going to get 0 comments on this entry. it makes me comforted that i can have a blog dialogue about more than just cupcakes, outfits, and pretty things and people can understand what i'm talking about :) don't get me wrong, i love outfits and cupcakes. but i think about a lot more than those things, and i'm sure you do too.

    thank you guyss, you're the best readers evar!! xoxoxoxo

  10. I love people, but I am an introvert in that I need a certain about of alone time in order to feel recharged.

  11. I'm definitely a people-person, but not all the time. I like my alone time but I like company too. The best, though, is when my boyfriend and I can hang out but each do our own thing, just in each other's presence. It's lovely!


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