today, i thought i would share a story.
(a kind of long story, so best go get some popcorn.)
are you from southern new england? if so, then you know. if not, i'm about to school you...
bess eaton was a coffee and donut chain that was practically an institution where i come from... the rhode island equivalent of starbucks. there was a lot of loyalty to the brand. even my very first job was at a bess eaton, and i used to bring home bagels and muffins after every shift.
a few years ago, it was bought out by a bigger chain called tim horton's. more on that later...
around the same time that this buyout happened, things were also complicated in my personal life. a lot of change was happening. my family was in chaos for various reasons.
i took a huge leap of faith, and decided to attend a music conservatory in new york. but the transition wasn't going smoothly. all the friendships and support i had found at my old community college were gone. replaced with what i felt were successions of competitive, cliquey people. i just couldn't find any confidence around them, and my ego was perpetually deflated.
then, the day came when i arrived home from first semester of college. i was informed that our house was being sold, and subsequently, my parents were moving 10 hours away to maine. day after day, we all piled into the car while other families prowled through and sniffed around our home.
i was hauling around my whole life and all my worldly possessions, semester by semester, in an ugly white caravan that i loved dearly. sometimes, i didn't even know where i was going to stay during breaks and in between semesters.
at times i felt like a wild, independent spirit! certainly bound for a sacred artist's journey of self-discovery. yet i was lonely. i kept trying to find love in all the wrong places, and i felt abandoned by pretty much everyone i'd ever known.
and so. on one fateful visit back, i found myself driving around town. i realized all bess eaton signs now read as something called... tim horton's...
what the fuck.
i couldn't tell you why, but this royally pissed me off. just one more thing to make sure that all that i had always known would remain unfamiliar. henceforth i would snicker, with hatred in my heart, at any tim horton sign that i happened to glance upon.
looking back, i understand that this stupid corporate power play- that had NOTHING to do with me- had come to represent all the unwelcome change that was happening during that time.
so. many years, many battle scars, and a lot of attitude adjusting later, i've learned a few things. like the fact that situations are fleeting. and no matter how unfortunate it may seem, there are always hidden blessings. this may sound like a bad hallmark greeting, but i swear, i believe it's true.
still. this knowledge didn't stop me from being over-the-moon nostalgic when we pulled into some parking lot this weekend... and what do i see, but THIS sign.
THEY'RE BACK, baby!
it might not make sense... it probably doesn't. but things like this make it clear to me. sometimes the things you love and cherish come back into your life when you least expect it.
sometimes they never do, and that's okay too.
sometimes miracles happen.
i'm starting to doubt this less and less :)