February 13, 2013
Coffee Talk ~ Creativity
It's been documented here before, but one of my great joys in life is visiting cafes. To me, luxury is time. The time to allow yourself to go somewhere nice, and sit for awhile, and just be with yourself. I like to read, write, do work, or just people-watch. I've been writing nearly every day as part of my "creative recovery" process, and I've been finding out a lot of interesting things tucked away in my mind and heart.
Like the other day, I was on a cafe date with myself and thinking about the future. I've been kind of mean in telling myself lately that this "artist" thing is over for me. I should just set my sights on a whole new role in life, with all new goals. More attainable ones. It's been sad to feel like I have to let go of this wild part of myself, that just wants to spend every day creating and feeling inspired (nevermind that I feel like it has to be one kind of life or the other- it can never be both.) But everything else I've ever wanted to do is too hard, so I might as well relax and get comfortable becoming someone completely new.
But as I was in this cafe, the gentleman pictured below sat down at the table next to me. He simply started talking to his friend about his life. As I was eavesdropping on his exciting stories about traveling Europe, meditation, yoga, organic farms, and other frou-frou artsy stuff, I realized how much they were sparking my inspiration. So I asked him if I could take his picture to remember the moment.
I think it's really important to take notice of what inspires us and draws out our energy. They give us clues about ourselves. They can uncover secret dreams we might have buried beneath negative beliefs- what we want to be doing, and what kind of people we want to be. As the excitement of this man's stories was welling up inside of me, I realized that it's not frivolous at all to want to experience things like this for myself. It's normal and natural for me, and it's part of who I am.
Also, I've been taking stock of things that sap my energy... what makes me feel too run-down to try anymore. A big part of that is making creative goals, and them not leading to the "correct" place. If I make a record, it must be super successful in order to justify making another. If I have a blog, I must have tons of followers, or I suck and will never be any good. I let the non-fulfillment of my too-high expectations get me down. And although it's certainly never stopped me from doing exactly what I wanted to do, it's slowed me down. I've allowed it to take too much wind out of my sails over the years, delaying so many dreams. Killing ideas before they even began.
I used to think that having a new idea, that twinge of excitement, and the possibility of a new project meant that it was going to take me somewhere. It meant I was going to Be Something or Do Something. And if it didn't go where I wanted, well, then I was a failure. But now I see that the real joy of having an idea and being excited about it is that excitement! It doesn't have to have any real result other than to make you happy. This is such a liberating thought to me, I can't believe it's never even occurred to me before!
I know that the words "magical" and "inspiration" are a little cliched in the blogging world. But I really believe that we need to feel that magic in our lives- both for every-day good feelings, and especially for creative purposes. That childlike sense of wonder that helps us see things in a different way. We are so lucky when we get to experience this. And often, it takes a lot of work to really experience it.
I have to wake up, look at myself in the mirror single every day, and tell myself that I deserve joy. I deserve creativity. Actively try to seek it out and cultivate it. And do you know what happens when I do that? I get it.
So ask yourself these questions today-
~ What feels like luxury to me?
~ What event, situation, idea (etc.) genuinely perked up my inspiration or this week?
~ How have I been sapping energy away from myself?
~ How can I bring the "magic" back into my life?
♥ watch my new video for "just the way you are" on youtube!! ♥
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