wistful | Chantilly


you guysss, being home in rhode island last weekend made me totally homesick.

misquamicut beach, pictures from last summer

i especially miss the beaches, and specifically this one. after 6pm is the best time to go :)

i grew up there. i spent every summer since i was born there. and whenever i return, i realize it's something i'd been missing that i hadn't remembered until that moment. it cleanses me, and it's a part of who i am.


more than that, i wonder what would've become of me if i'd never been ambitious enough to move away. would i be married? would i have a house? kids?

the idea of those things bored me to tears once upon a time, and sent me screaming into the arms of an artist's lifestyle. and well, they still bore me to tears. and i wouldn't change my decisions one bit. i've always made the best ones i could given the circumstances.

but sometimes... just sometimes... i wish for the simple charm of a simple life with simple goals.


when i go home, i am reminded that i could've had these things, and chose not to.

and i have to ask myself... am i done here yet? what do i hope to accomplish? what do i hope to prove? what is it that i'm looking for? and finally, when is it time to "settle?"

i'm not sure. i wish i knew. seeing other people live their lives the simple way used to completely repel me, but now i see the value in it.

on the other side of the coin, i can romanticize all i want. but if a magic genie made it so that i could move out of the city, get my old bank teller job back, and work there for the next 40 years in exchange for a house and "security," i think i'd choke myself to death.

still, i can't help but think that someday i'll just be an old lady... walking the beach every night, collecting shells. maybe with a partner, maybe not. maybe with a daughter or son. maybe with a dog. maybe still updating the ole' blog (if blogs are still in style.) maybe, maybe, maybe.

"what ifs." they do no good...



  1. You can always go back when you're gray and old. You've been brave enough to follow your dreams and I respect you 100% for that! ;) I know big things are on your way!


  2. thank you, lovely girl :) your comments make me smile.


  3. These are lovely photos!

    I always feel a little homesick for the simple life in the small town where I grew up. Sometimes it's nice to visit just for a little taste of it, then you can go back to your own world feeling more refreshed ♥

  4. It's funny how we think isn't it? We can't help but play the "what if" game with ourselves. I would give my right arm to have the backbone you had to pursue your dream! You are an inspiration to people I'm sure of it! I guess either scenario comes with it's pros and cons. Luckily you have tons and tons of time left to try any road that you'd like to take. Life is a beautiful mess with a big scoop of trial and error :)

  5. your photo posts are always very inspiring but who knew you had such a beautiful way with words as well? great post, thanks for sharing.


  6. lyndll, jenna, and chrissy thank you so much for your thoughts! my situation definitely comes with pros and cons, but all things do.


  7. Living somewhere else for awhile & going back to live where you grew up is always strange..this is exactly why I plan on moving soon! It's so awesome & inspiring that you had the guts to take a chance and follow your heart! I love the photo of the fishing pole, too :)

  8. I totally know what you mean. I moved away as soon as I could. I've since ran into friends from high school who got married right away and settled into small town life. I wonder what my life might've been if I'd followed in their footsteps and stayed put.

    I don't regret my decision to see a broader perspective on life, but sometimes I wonder how my life might be different if I'd made different choices.


thank you for taking the time to leave a comment :) i appreciate your thoughts.

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