February 05, 2014

Coffee Talk ~ Self Image and Blogging


Some days, you got it and you know it.

20131115-IMG_4213 outfit chantilly outfit 20130824-IMG_2164


Here are a few of my "I got it" days in the past few months.

The world is great. Feeling good. Feeling fine. Lookin' fine. Happy and secure. Loving life, and it shows... even if you're not smiling. It might go without saying, but these are the best days to take any type of photos of yourself.


But sometimes, the photo-taking days do not perfectly align with the feeling-great days. There are in fact, entire weeks where I completely forget how to say "I got it" to myself, and it sucks.

Frequent complaints: It's the winter. It's too cold. I've been eating too much. My eyes feel puffy, because I have insomnia... staying up all night long doing nothing in particular of value. I'm bothered by the lines on my face. I've got a fresh zit on my cheek. But worst of all... I just can't stop the negative thought stream!!

The last one is my downfall. Because we all know that all that other stuff can suck a big one, when compared to the sexiest thing in the world: CONFIDENCE. When you are constantly repeating negative mantras in your head, you are not going to sound good (hence, all the complaining...) feel good, OR look good. And the worst part is knowing you are stuck, but not knowing how to break the repetition of negative thought.


Big admission of guilt: I feel pressure to look super young, and pretty, and skinny in all of the photos that I post here. Not only because that's what women are "supposed" to do and be in our culture, but also in order to "keep up with the Joneses", if you will. To be like the other girls and women I admire who bravely post their photos online for the world to see and critique, and who look AWESOME doing it.

Maybe I'm shallow.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite for continuing to blog my outfits, even if I don't always feel "authentic" in doing so. I've never denied that. It is fun. It is a part of my life. I just needed to get this off my chest. I don't always feel perfect. I'm often insecure. Sometimes I have puffy eyes. Sometimes I have a broken heart. But I smile anyway. Smile, smile away... It's not always right. But it's what I do.


So now you know.





Chantilly

Follow on Bloglovin
Share:

31 comments

  1. You my love...are beautiful. Through and through. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you jenna <3<3 even though i'm NOT fishing for compliments. just thought i'd be honest about how i'm feeling lately :)

      Delete
  2. Thank you for your realness. I love your outfit post. Keep them coming. Its tough to have to stay fit, put make up on, do your hair, pick a cute outfit and then feeling confident in it all. I feel ya. I think you look fabulous. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for understanding, marlene :)

      Delete
  3. I don't think you look super young or skinny in your post, i think you look super gorgeous and real, as a woman should look, embracing your body no matter what and that's braver than other things, what do you care if you gain a few pounds during winter if you enjoyed the food and sharing it with the people you love, or don't look so young anymore, if you're growing up and gaining more experience and looking beautiful no matter how old are you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i appreciate it... and i think beauty has so much to do with our spirits, and how we feel about ourselves inside. i've seen people completely turn themselves around physically, and look great, because they feel great, because they let go of whatever bullshit has been dragging them down and making them feel bad.

      that said... i DO care about the way i look, physically. it's just a hard balance, trying not to let it affect me too negatively. :)

      Delete
  4. Uh yeah, this is the exact reason I don't ever do outfit posts. On another note, I think you always look beautiful-I envy your gorgeous skin! You keep doing you :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you :) you are beautiful too! i honestly think it has a lot to do with the camera we use. it's a super great camera, but it highlights EVERYTHING. every mark, every scar, every imperfection. which i then have to "correct." life was much happier when i was using my crappy point-and-shoot, and thinking i had perfect skin (it's not always so perfect!) :P

      Delete
  5. We all have those days and I think most of us can be super critical of ourselves-- I know I am! I don't think it makes your posts less authentic and the fact that you're even posting this shows just how truly authentic and real you are. Your readers follow you because you have a great sense of style and because you're you, I for one am glad I found your blog and think you do a wonderful job :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you amanda! i want to make more "real" posts like this. xx

      Delete
  6. Seriously the best post I've the past few weeks, in general.
    I love your writing style.

    <3
    Harlynn
    mindyourmadness.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awwww! I always enjoy the photos you posts. Truth is I don't share a lot of pics of myself because I have A LOT of excuses (some of which you shared here). It's something I've struggled with ever since I was young. Some things you just can't shake off I guess but it's refreshing to see admission from others and still able to work it. ♥

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks marilyn. similarly, i've always felt awkward about my body, especially. i get more confident with every passing year, but lately, the fears have been persistent little buggers. thanks for the vote of confidence:)

      Delete
  8. Thank you for saying this and putting it out there! I also get caught up in wanting to look super skinny and pretty as well, so of course the pictures I put on my blog are the ones that I like the best and the ones I feel make me look skinny and pretty. Sometimes I feel shallow too, but who wants pictures of themselves on the internet where they don't look their best, right? Still working on that confidence thing!
    ~Sara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dude, totally. of course you put the most flattering pictures of yourself out there! everyone does. for me, it's just the process of looking through all the "duds" that give me fits of anxiety lately. it's like "yeah, there's this super flattering picture... but then there's this one where i look terrible. which do i look like?"

      for this comment's purposes, i'll just take the positive road and say that i think we all look like the most flattering versions of ourselves at all times :P

      Delete
  9. What a beautiful post. I've been guilty of the self-criticism monster as well - I've thrown out entire photoshoots with hundreds of frames that I disliked. Being an "older" blogger, it's sometimes hard to come to terms with the fact that I'm a minority. But I do really enjoy it, and I believe those of us who are more relatable have readerships full of women who aren't necessarily seduced by the hype of the fashion world, which is a good thing. Even though I love fashion, most of us aren't a size two. And I think every outfit post you do is just wonderful - you're one of my must-read blogs, Chantilly! And you ARE beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you paulette!! i feel like there's always some reason to say to ourselves "well, i'm not as blonde/ pretty/ skinny/ cool/ young (etc., etc.) as all these other ladies, so that means i'm not as good. so that means i'll never be accepted in the community."

      i've been saying variations of those things to myself (and more) all my life, and they are NEVER true. it's held me back so much. i'm not saying i'm the perfect example of self-awareness, and always being able to beat back the negative voices. but i think it is really important to be aware, and yet not let yourself use it as an excuse to not do the things you want and are passionate about (such as blogging :)

      <3<3

      Delete
  10. Chantilly, I think you are SO beautiful! And I think every blogger is "guilty" of this to an extent. Most of the time I critique every photo from an outfit shoot and try to find a few that I don't hate or look "fat" or "ugly" in. It's a shame that women feel so much pressure to look a certain way- especially when the blogging atmosphere tries so hard to promote self love and positive body image. It's hard to grow out of years of doubting the way you look! I think confidence gets better with age- or I HOPE! It seems that way for me so far. Anyway, your blog is one of my favorites because of posts like this one. You are beautiful, don't ever forget that. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you so much kelsey! xxo

      Delete
  11. I agree. I noticed recently I didn't want to take any pictures of myself for my blog because my body (hair, face ....) doesn't look the way it 'should'. I had to slow down, and remember the whole reason I liked fashion blogs in the beginning! because it wasn't magazines shoving models down my face constantly.
    annnyways, you're beautiful! thanks for this!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I really like your outfit posts. I wish I were in the mood to pose for photos myself, but I've completely lost it and need to get "it", my confidence back. Working on it :).

    Happy midweek!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ha, i just make myself take the photos even if i'm not "in the mood." sometimes it works out, sometimes not.

      get it, girl! (your confidence that is :)

      Delete
  13. first of all you are a beautiful person inside & out and I dig your outfit posts even if you aren't always feeling them.

    I have bad blogging days too and sometimes I hate my pictures and think ugh why can't I be taller/thinner/less tired/etc/etc but as (i hate to say this) the blog world becomes more and more commercial and a lot of blogs looking more and more like magazine spreads it is SO important to have blogs that represent a different point of view and different styles. The homogenization of the blogging world has become depressing and a blog like yours where you rock funky outfits is really important. so please keep doing them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you bring up a really good point. at least we KNOW magazine spreads are fake/ unattainable, even if some of us still draw inspiration from them. we started looking to bloggers to bring a certain "realness" to the table that we craved... but now the frigging blogs might as well be magazines too!! and we still think it's attainable, but often times, it's not.

      thanks so much emmett :))

      Delete
  14. Bah! Just be yourself, bro! You want people to come back week after week to see YOU. Not some other girl. All of your concerns are valid, but at the end of the day, I find it easier to be who I am than to try to live up to someone else's ideal.

    I don't even think about your weight or your make up or whatever when I look at your photos. Hell, I barely wear any makeup. I don't wear earrings (ears aren't pierced! what?! yeah, I'm a terrible woman apparently), I hardly wear jewelry and I don't ever wear lipstick. I just hope that the people who read my blog want to see what I'm wearing and come back because they're interested in that...any maybe my sterling personality. Haha.

    Honestly, I just look at what you wear and how you wear it, because that's where my focus happens to be. You do what you do very well, and that's even to keep me coming back. Cheers!

    - Anna

    www.melodicthriftychic.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are some typos, but in my defense, I got a little excited. Haha. >_< You get the gist, hopefully!

      Delete
    2. haha, i love this comment!! thank you. and it's for similar reasons that i love your blog! your funky outfits got me intrigued, and your awesome stories and commentary hooked me :)

      Delete
  15. Confident photos are hard. I don't know if I ever truly am. Maybe I should have a glass of wine before a shot. I love how you hold yourself. How you know what clothes work for you and look good with your shape. I'm still figuring it out. Especially since pregnancy really widened out my hips and I don't think they are ever returning to there original width.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. honestly, i do feel more confident when it's like... we're walking around after a boozy brunch, not a care in the world WHEEEE. but more often than not, it's me dragging poor matt out into the cold, in order to fulfill my vain, vain little blogging project. he always seems to "forget" that saturdays are photoshoot days.

      either way, i think a glass of wine could work ;)

      Delete

thank you for taking the time to leave a comment :) i appreciate your thoughts.

© Chantilly ~ | All rights reserved.
Blog Design Handcrafted by pipdig