Lots of people enjoy staying busy.
That much is true in the U.S. But especially in New York. At times, it feels like some people do it for the sole sake of saying "Guys, I'm sooo busy!!!!" to their friends, into their phone, walking down the street.
Other people book their schedules to the brim as a drug, of sorts. Activities, jobs, commitments, classes, tasks, social engagements. I have had friends tell me that brings their whole day down if
one hour has passed, and they have not accomplished anything. They schedule every minute of their time in excruciating detail on their iPhone calendars, and wonder why they're having nervous breakdowns.
My theory is that a lot of them are running from something inside themselves. Make no mistake, we all have wounds. And for humans, a really popular thing to do when confronted with that fact, or some truth about ourselves that we don't like, is to deny. Run. Numb.
Stomp it out before it reaches your heart, and you actually feel something.
I was one of those people once. I'd cram my schedule full of "important things", push myself to the point of exhaustion, and berate myself when I didn't do good enough. I would then go out at night and drink, party with my friends. Wake up hungover, and go to work. Repeat, repeat, repeat. I was trying to block out a lot of things I'd sooner forget.
I was in some intensive therapy program or another, when I finally broke. All my defense mechanisms were melting away from me, and it was then that learned the art of
being still within yourself. This art... it's not so popular in our culture. But still. I reveled in spending an entire day writing in my journal. Discovering myself, and finding out that- surprise! I was not as bad as I thought.
But of course, this isn't the way of the world, and I've been struggling with this concept since I found out about it. Because we live in a world that worships at the altar of "busy." And cultivating a peaceful, mindful life can feel downright impossible in that circumstance.
My intention in writing this was supposed to be about why I haven't made any posts this week. I have been "busy," folks. There was a time that I used to write posts two weeks in advance. There was a time when I had some breathing room. And now, I don't have much to say about anything at all. This makes me sad. I miss this blog. I miss sharing. And I miss socializing with the wonderful people that come here to visit (you!)
But such is life. I do at least think there will be some gaps next week when I'll be able to take some pictures, write some posts, and feel inspired again.
Also, a treat for you- The Totally Awesome Blog Hop will make its grand re-emergence this tomorrow! By the time you read this, I'll be on the road, escaping to a cabin in the woods for Memorial Day (with no Internet access.) But I am your faithful host, so I will be here with you in spirit.
Have a lovely holiday, everyone. And
remember to relax. Be still within yourself :)